My Archives: June 2005
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
moosic- "where is everybody" nine inch nails
I'm baking home made cookies..which honestly to me are better than any cookie I have ever ate. I have so out done myself with these..haha.
As you all know Josh moved Friday to Nashville to attend NADC, which started yesterday. I missed him so much..so I decided Sunday to suprise him yesterday in Nashville. Since Sunday I have been planning how I would suprise him. I wen't through 1500 different options and scenarios. But I asked myself, If Amber was anywhere in Nashville..where would it be? My answer? The sanrio store, of course. So then I made my plan and at 4:30 yesterday morning I started to put it into action. Mom and I hit the road to Nashville at 7:49 am.
For the past 2 weeks I have been working on this 'jar' thing. My friend Danielle had made one for her boyfriend, which she filled with pictures, poems, sayings, and etc. I loved the jar idea so I made one myself, but I put a piece of foam down the middle and seperated it, forming two seperate places to put stuff in. One side was called 'memories' the other 'lucky stars'. The 'memories' side was filled with folded pieces of colored paper with many, many different memories Josh and I have shared together. I told him that when he was sad or lonely he could pull one out and read it, and that when he did I would be there however long he thought about that memory. The other side was 153 lucky stars. 153 is how many days as of yesterday that we have been dating. Everyday that goes by from here on out I will make a lucky star for. So on the way down yesterday I worked hard on different things to give him. I finished the jar, decorated a picture frame with two pictures of us, wrote him a 3 paged letter which basically told him everything I loved about him- and included pictures that showed him how much I miss him. The night before I had made my cookie dough and baked him a batch of chocolate chip cookies and put them in a container for him and his roommates to snack on.
Anyways..back to what I was telling you. After about 5 hours+ we arrived in Nashville. We wen't to the Opry Mills mall to wait for the plan to take complete action. I had 2 and half hours to prepare myself to suprise him. Opry Mills mall is the most gorgeous mall ever, it was just awesome. I had myself so nervous and so worked up over the plan. I wanted it to go PERFECT. I told him that when he got out of school at 1:40 to call me on my cell phone, because I was out at mom's work helping her and wanted to know how his first day wen't. So I was sitting on a bench in the mall holding my cell phone, waiting for that call. About 5 till 2 he called. My nerves had taken the best of me..but I managed to tell him 'my story' I had came up with. I told him that mom said that since I had helped around the house and been really nice, that the hello kitty mirror I had been wanting, I could have. I told him when I went to order it, it was soldout. So I was like, well I will call the sanrio store close to Josh and see if they have it. I told him that they did and that mom gave them her credit card number and that I needed him to go pick it up for me before 2:30, because after 2:30 they wouldn't hold it anymore and mom's credit card wouldn't be charged. He bought it. So he left his apartment and came to the mall. I was standing in sanrio and I happened to look up and he was in the doorway, with his roommate Ryan, both had the same 'You look so familiar' look on their face. Then I smiled and Josh realized that it really was me. He was completely shocked. He couldn't even talk or move. So I ran over to him and he had the biggest smile on his face and hugged and held me. He wouldn't let me go =D. He was like "This is the best suprise ever. Youv'e made my day, actually my whole week." He couldn't have been anymore shocked or happier. The plan was even more perfect than I had planned. His friend Ryan was like "You lucky Bastard" because he has a girlfriend too, but she is 9 hours away and he missed her like crazy as well. Josh and I hung out till about 10 p.m. He showed me his apartment and introduced me to his roommates, they were all nice. When it was 10 it was way past time of when we planned to have left to go home (8ish), so we followed him out of Nashville. He told us that when he turned off on his exit to not follow him, to just go straight and hit 80A. So we followed him and then he put his signal on. I could feel the tears filling my eyes and I looked to my right, rolled my window down, he had almost stopped in his exit, and as we drove by him I blew him a kiss and told him I loved him, he told me that he loved me as well. I kept my head turned and watched him as long as I could, crying the whole time. He called me like 10 times to check in on us on our way back. He told me the last thing he seen was my big brown eyes starring through the back window at him and that when we wen't by, he was saying to himself, "Where are you going? Your suppose to go this way, your suppose to with me." While I was thinking the same thing. It's hard to deal with the fact he don't live here anymore. He lives there.
Honestly him moving was the best for our relationship, it made me realize that I truly and honestly love him and that I would spend the rest of my life with him. I don't care who knows that. Before he left, I would deny myself that I didn't care for him as much as I knew I did, and I would almost be bitchy to him all the time. Him moving didn't allow me to deny my feelings for him any longer, and made me wish I hadn't tried to deny myself so much. I knew I loved him, but I was scared. Scared of basically everything. I wanted to be able to control my feelings, and well now I can't at all. I'm not scared anymore though. I'm not stressed out anymore, I'm not denying myself anymore. I am the happiest I have ever been. I love him more than ANYTHING I ever have before. He honestly is the one. He is my true love. I miss him so much. I truly don't ever wan't to lose him. What we have is absolutly perfect. We aren't always serious, we are playful. We wrestle and joke and have fun, but yet we sincerely love each other and say and do sweet, romantic things. We call each other names, but it's playful and in a loving way. We both share the same feelings and we can relate and communicate on the same level. We both are there when the other one needs the other, we trust each other and are honest with each other. He is honestly as close as you can come to perfect. Leaving him yesterday was so hard to do, I just want to feel his warmth and the comfort of knowing he is down the road. I will feel that about every other weekend, but it's hard until then.
Josh, I love you.
Much love;Posted by ambie lou @ 05:30 PM EST [Link]
Friday, June 17, 2005
moosic- "save tonight" Eagle eye Cherry
This is just a quick update...
Josh left this morning at 6 to move to Nashville to start college. I'm so sad..haha. I've sleept like honestly 4 hours the past 2 days, All I have done is sit at the table and make this thing for him..but I still didn't finish it..meaning I have to give it to him when he comes in. So thats a pile of poo. But it's so weird to think that he don't live here anymore..he is over 5 hours away..it was so sad this morning. I was trying not to cry and oddly enough the last thing I said to him was "Peace out Biotch". haha. Then I cleaned the whole downstairs..why? Hell if I know..haha.
Dad is going to re-format the computer hard drive..so I won't be updating for a few days (haha like you all aren't used to that already..) So I'm not for sure when I will update again..but the only thing interesting in my life at the moment is Josh leaving. haha. Well, and that I have lost 8 pounds.
Much love;Posted by ambie lou @ 11:51 AM EST [Link]
Tuesday, June 7, 2005
moosic- "slow motion" Third eye Blind
Today was the last day of Junior year. Today was a sad day. Why? Not only was it the last day of school, but the last day of the school I have wen't to my whole life. Next year it will be combined with all the other schools in the county, to create a central highschool. It also means that other than graduation Friday..it was the last time I will see many of my friends. Normally I could care less when the seniors graduated..but this time is different. I have wen't to school my whole life with a lot of them, and some are my really good friends. It's Just sad...next year will be so..different. Instead of going back and seeing everyone your used to, you will see two other highschools. I don't like change like this. I don't like moving to a bigger school, I know my school..I know where everything is. I'm a senior, not a freshman..you should only feel like that freshman year..not your senior year. It will be so hectic as well. The school is not finished meaning all 3 highschools will locate to our school. The hallways were already bad. They are even classrooms that are downtown! We don't have enough room for everyone, how the hell are we going to learn anything? Senior year is suppose to be FUN. As you can tell, I do not like the idea of combining schools. Stupid school board or whoever decided this, haha. Anyways I took some pix today..you can see them on my gallery.
As I mentioned, Friday is graduation. I will cry, haha. Josh leaves for Nashville in 12 days to start at NADC college. I'm excited that I can stay up as late and sleep as late and I want to now, without worrying about school the next day.
Yesterday was Kendra's birthday and she invited me to attend a get together at Applebees. It was fun =D It was Kendra, Sheena, Melanie, Kelli chae, Jessica and I. I believe that all of us got really sick afterwards though, but it's all good. There also was this guy that would not take his eyes off of me. It FREAKED me out. He had his hand on his forehead and with his head tilted down a bit with his eyes looking up at me..for as long as we were there. It was really scary that way he stared at me. Sheena even got up to goto the bathroom to see if he was staring at me or at everyone, she said he didn't even flinch when she walked by, that he was too busy looking at me. When we were leaving his eyes followed me out the door. Sheena and I thought he was going to come out there and follow us..but thank god he didn't. I'm so glad Kendra invited me =D
Friday night Sheenie and I hung out. It was great. We hadn't hung out in a long time, so it was nice. We were on this pond in this inflatable raft with handmade oars (aka planks of wood). Another friend started throwing rocks in the water, splashing us with the dirty, fish like smell water. But it was so fun! I loved it. Sheenie and I need to get together again sometime..isn't that right Sheenie? lol
Anyways..sorry for not updating. Finals have been the past 3 days of school, so I've been busy. But now I'm out of school and gave you this LONG entry. Hope I didn't bore you all too bad.
Much love;